Beware the Dementia Demon: Exploiting an Elder

(SALEM, Ore.) - Once upon a time a highly intelligent lady of 85 met up with a hit-and-run accident while crossing a busy urban street. She became unconscious after being struck and her heart temporarily ceased. It was only after miracle CPR by a passing police officer that breathing resumed.

That was only the start of a tragic tale of events. Her leg was crushed by the errant auto and she was sent to the ICU of a nearby hospital. The wild motorist was caught but had minimal insurance. The lady in question was confined to wheelchair for many months. She went to a rehab center and became increasingly depressed. Her former vigor never returned. She was too ashamed to ever go back to her senior center and fraternize with her old friends.

Let's call her Hilda for privacy's sake. Hilda had two children, a son and a daughter, and both lived in other states. Her physician told her she could never again live on her own. This was toxic news to a feisty independent-minded lady who had been a widow for 20-plus years. Her atypical good health had faded in an instant. She suffered.

Life in the rehab facility was abhorrent to her. She disliked being regulated, wanted to eat and sleep and do activities at her own pace. Consequently, she felt very isolated. Into this void appeared her daughter, a hard-driving businesswoman with no training in healthcare but a pronounced passion for seeking profits. This was Hilda's downfall.

Assisted living with use of a walker was suggested. The prices of such places in Metro New York were astronomical. Hilda was undeniably frugal and feared her resources would be wiped out in short order. Her daughter took over financial power of attorney and convinced her to come South, where costs would be less exorbitant. Feeling weak and somewhat confused, Hilda succumbed to the pressure.

Once in her alien state, she reversed gears and rejected every facility shown to her in favor of temporary staying with her daughter. That certainly saved money, at least on the surface, and prevented being under rules and regs of outsiders. However, her new community held little appeal. She was brought to local senior centers and felt like a "fish out of water". She withdrew even further and developed Alzheimer's Disease.

During this time, the businesswoman daughter took over paying all bills. She refused to share the specifics with her brother or any other family mother other than her son who conveniently worked for her. Their joint business was located onsite. She formed a close relationship with the doctor she selected, who prescribed depression medicine that may have added to her confusion.

One fine day in her middle stages of dementia, the daughter decided to set up a joint account with the vast majority of her estate. Hilda was at this stage so dependent on her daughter that she routinely signed what she was told. There was nobody to serve as a neutral witness. It was what they call a "slam-dunk deal".

Only after Hilda's death did this episode come to light. The octagenarian could not supply testimony to the contrary. The will had split the estate "on paper" between the son and daughter, but all that was cast to the winds. The joint account bypassed that will and conveniently was added to the daughter's booty.

An attempt litigation ran into a roadblock with no witnesses to speak on Hilda's mental state when she signed onto a joint account. The medical records were not explicit on the onset of her Alzheimer's, and no legal protection on inability to sign was available other than a court finding of incompetence. Nobody was around to offer a protest.

This is a cautionary tale to anyone with older relatives and to seniors themselves. Be certain you file a document with your lawyer or doctor that declares "null and void" any attempt to transfer your money after any mental diagnosis that can impair your abilities. Do not get caught in this trap. The funds you save may be your own.

Salem-News.com Community Writer Barry Lee Coyne brings to our readers stories from his combined career of journalism and gerontology, and explains that these paths shaped his values. This writer-therapist often views the world as the masks of comedy and tragedy placed upon the scales of justice. For him, optimism inevitably wins. "Lyrical Lee" has traveled to 30 nations aboard and was once a press intern at the UN. His first published article was in The NY Daily News in '59, dealing with the need for integrity in public office.

He also launched the nation's first tele-conference on health education for shut-ins, created the Eldermentors project in VA to pair retirees with immigrant students needing role models, and was the main catalyst behind CCTV's "Public Public" panel show here in Salem. Lee received his BA in International Relations and an MSW in community organization. He currently serves as a member of Salem's Library Advisory Board. To send Lee an email, please write to this address: To send Lee an email, please write to this address: notcoy@netzero.net