Old Age and the Modern Libido: All Men Aren't Predatory

Lifespan has lengthened due to medical science; it underlies the fact that men do live longer and are thus around later in life to admire the female form.

Courtesy: cbc.ca

(SALEM) - Despite my being happily married and in the senior citizen bracket of life, I haven't quite given up my keen admiration of a pretty female face. However, that doesn't qualify for the "dirty old man" stereotype. As one ages, it is natural to wonder about what going on with younger generations. In my youth, it was almost scandalous to live together or "shack up". Dating was generally casual and hanky-panky-type activities often reserved for the engagement stage. The concept of contraceptions was non-existent and abortions were strictly illegal. A half century later times have changed radically, most would agree. We grant that the lifespan has lengthened due to medical science. That underlies the fact that men do live longer and are thus around later in life to admire the female form. But let us not jump to conclusions. Admiration need not lead to exploitation. Not all men out there are blatant opportunists who would sacrifice a stable marriage for a one-night fling. Let's not blindly assume a one-size-fits-all myth about older men in particular. Many of us have had our explorative adventures earlier in life to determine what sort of woman satisfies our standards, and this means emotional and spiritual as well as physical. Stereotyping us is surely a form of bigotry. While I can never speak for all males, for myself I look at an attractive woman as assurance that those future young generations will have some superb genetic stuff to work with. I feel good inside that maybe some youthful dude will win the hands of a good-looking bride and make that marriage become a success.

I also hope that the female will not simply rely on beauty to get through life, but will seek to develop her repertoire of skills across the board. Hugh Hefner notwithstanding, older men merit the right to redeem themselves by that sparkle within we experience when a hubba-hubba type crosses our path. Even if we are closer to our mortal finish-line, we are very much alive. The alternative is bitter isolation from what life has to offer. I'd welcome getting a cross-section of feedback from both genders.

Salem-News.com Community Writer Barry Lee Coyne brings to our readers stories from his combined career of journalism and gerontology, and explains that these paths shaped his values. Lee Coyne once worked for The Civil Service Leader in NY State and covered the Legislature. He has also done features on mediation and arbitration, and believes in healthy skepticism. This writer-therapist often views the world as the masks of comedy and tragedy placed upon the scales of justice. For him, optimism inevitably wins. "Lyrical Lee" has traveled to 30 nations aboard and was once a press intern at the UN. His first published article was in The NY Daily News in '59, dealing with the need for integrity in public office.

He also launched the nation's first tele-conference on health education for shut-ins, created the Eldermentors project in VA to pair retirees with immigrant students needing role models, and was the main catalyst behind CCTV's "Public Public" panel show here in Salem. Lee received his BA in International Relations and an MSW in community organization. He currently serves as a member of Salem's Library Advisory Board. To send Lee an email, please write to this address: luckycoyne@yahoo.com