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Mar-18-2010 13:07printcomments

Life after Losing to Alcohol

Education is the only way we can get the word out about dangers of excessive drinking, so encourage people to understand and recognize when they are having a problem and are becoming addicted.

(SALEM, Ore.) - In September 2007 I wrote an article about my husband’s losing battle with alcoholism and cirrhosis of the liver. I am still getting comments concerning this story and feel saddened that so many people are going through the same pain I went through. It has helped to know I am not alone.

Some have asked me how I am doing and how I got through the loss. I still miss my husband, as I miss my father, my mother, and my friends who have passed. We all will lose someone in our lifetime and hopefully it will not be by watching them die through drinking themselves to death.

The most important part of loss is no matter what the circumstances, please allow yourself to go through the grieving processes. You will recognize these as stages your loved one may have gone through, also. These stages were identified by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in 1969 in her book, On Death and Dying.

  • The stages are (with my personal antidotes):
  • Denial – you will do this, so recognize it as it is only a temporary defense;
  • Anger – once you recognize denial isn’t working, you become angry; Bargaining – this is after denial doesn’t work and anger wears you out;
  • Depression – it took me a while to recognize this, but when I did I went to my doctor and the antidepressant has worked great;
  • Acceptance – after you have recognized you survived the first four stages, you will realize life will be okay.

Of course you will miss your loved one, but you need to get on with your life! If you say, “But, I don’t have anyone else,” then you will be wrong because you will always have you. Your family will need you, your friends will need you, and you will need them, but most of all you will need you.

Most people who have responded to my story know the dangers of becoming addicted to alcohol. Unfortunately, there will always be someone who doesn’t recognize they are drinking too much and not ready to admit to the consequences. Have them read my article and the comments sent in by many readers who have lost someone they love to this horrible disease.

I wish there was some way of controlling liquor or maybe even abolishing it, but I guess we tried that during the days of prohibition in the 1920s and 1930s and it obviously didn’t work.

Education is the only way we can get the word out about dangers of excessive drinking, so encourage people to understand and recognize when they are having a problem and are becoming addicted.

Below are some links to other articles concerning this subject:

Alcoholic Liver Cirrhosis Insidious Disease of Death - Lela Taylor,

As the daughter of an Oregon logger, Lela grew up living in different areas in Oregon. In 1973, entering into her second marriage and with four children, Lela had to make the decision to go back to school and finish her education so she could become self-sufficient from the government programs that was helping her family survive. She first volunteered at the non-profit organization known as Cry of Love to get experience in working in a social service environment. She then went on to graduate from Chemeketa Community College where she obtained two Associates degrees.

Lela has experience with humanity, having served with the non-profit Women’s Crisis Service, the Marion County Legal Aid Society, and as the Producer of the local TV show Public Pulse, which examines issues relevant to Oregon's capitol city. Lela’s latest endeavors have been to expand into the world of journalism with, where she now works with Tim and Bonnie King as their Community Editor. You can write to Lela at:

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