A Hamster and Some Dead Birds

In addition to the warm happy times, kids realize that LIFE has its harsh moments, its realities...

(AGOURA, Calif.) - One of parenting’s biggest challenges is when to protect your kids from “Life” and when to let them learn the truth about it. I experienced this twice, in the past couple of years, in interesting and similar ways…one when it “wasn’t time” and one when it was!

My younger son, when he was 7-years-old, wanted a hamster, after playing at a friend’s house that had several. Their “Mommy” hamster had just given birth to several baby hamsters and they graciously gave a darling one to my son.

Since it was around his birthday, we went to the pet store and bought a nice hamster cage and all the trimmings. I made him promise to clean the cage, once a week, and he agreed.

Like all toys kids have, he quickly relegated “Margarita” to a corner and, of course, never cleaned her cage. After all, that’s what I’m here for, right!? Nonetheless, when friends came over, he was proud to show off Margarita.

He’d take her out of her cage and everyone would take turns holding and petting her. She slept in a little section of the cage that had a latch, which required careful closing, or she could push it open and escape.

One evening when they had several friends over, one of the kids left that latch unsecured. The next morning, after the boys had gone to school, I noticed this and saw that Margarita was gone. I urgently searched the immediate area, but couldn’t find her.

After school, I broke the news to the boys and they, too, searched everywhere and couldn’t find her. Now, the big worry, which I didn’t remind them about, was our two dogs. Thankfully, they didn’t really think about that.

A night or two later, after they had gone to bed, I found Margarita, next to my bed, wet and very dead. Obviously the dogs found her. They hadn’t eaten her but she had certainly been thoroughly bathed! I did not tell the boys. I chose to let them continue to believe Margarita escaped into the wilderness of our backyard. Some of lives’ truths can just wait.

Cut to a little more than 2 years later, a couple of months ago. We’ve moved to a new home and a little bird had chosen to make her nest in one of our tall potted-plants just outside our front door. Soon, there were 5 little eggs and shortly thereafter 4 little birds (not sure what happened to the 5th).

We watched happily and in awe as these EXTREMELY tiny creatures grew, fed only by their mother who frantically flew away each time we opened the adjacent door. We wondered when our little ones would fly away! After a couple/three very fast and short weeks, we awoke one morning to an empty nest. All the babies were gone, and it even looked and seemed as if they cleaned up before leaving. A warm, fuzzy feeling was had by all!

Now, just a few weeks later, the same “Mommy” or another laid another few eggs in the same nest. Same pattern; same little baby birds followed. BUT, this time, my younger son, now 9, got Life’s harsher lesson when he opened the door this the other morning to check on the babies.

Rushing back inside, he was crying and screaming that they had been eaten! My older son and I scurried outside and, indeed, we saw only two of the babies left…one apparently dead and on its back, the other dead and slightly bloody.

My younger son quickly calmed down. We discussed life’s risks for animals; how so many do not survive. We reflected on the beauty and wonder of “our” first nest of babies who grew and flew away in apparent health and happiness. And, THEY realized that LIFE has its harsh moments, its realities. And, it was good…and they were fine. Till the next one…

Bruce Sallan gave up his showbiz career a decade ago to raise his two boys, full-time, now 12 and 15. His nationally syndicated column, A Dad’s Point-of-View, is his take on the challenges of parenthood and male/female issues, both as a single dad and now, newly remarried, in a blended family. In addition to Salem-News.com, his column is available in over 50 newspapers and Web sites in the U.S. and internationally. He can be reached at: brucesallan@gmail.com.