Losing a Loved One Offers an Incentive for Retrenchment

A loss can spur us to shed trivial routines and lead a more meaningful and fruitful existence.

Courtesy: artoflivinghappy.com

(SALEM) - The element of surprise is often central to the sudden unexpected death of a loved one. But once the reality sets in, various stages of bereavement for the survivors come into play.

There are a number of practical steps one may take to promote the healing process. These I would like to share with you, perhaps for future reference:

--LEGACY: The best way to keep alive the memory of the deceased in to practice the person's values in everyday activities.

--SOCIAL ROLES: Death gives us that rare opportunity to reassess our family relationships. Also, to make repairs as needed. Long-simmering disputes also deserve their burial.

--NETWORKING: Here we get the chance to reaffirm a "sense of community" and social support as we reach out to bind up our wounds. That can constitute a blessing.

--LOSS AND PAIN: Out of the present void can emerge new hidden strengths for achieving better coping in the future. We can evolve to more effective individuals.

--DEPENDENCY: If some sort of relative dependency did exist with the loved one, we can now begin anew to map out a more independent, self-reliant future.

--REFLECTION: Everyone's death inevitably reminds us of our own mortality. Yet this can then spur us to shed some of our trivial routines and concentrate on leading a more meaningful and fruitful existence in the brighter days ahead.

Let us renew our strength and rekindle that flame of purpose within.

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NOTE: A lifelong lover of history, Lee has written for newspapers and magazines nationally. Born in Brooklyn, NY, he lived in Virginia and NM before moving to Oregon in 2000.

B. Lee Coyne, a NYC native, blends three careers: Journalist, Counselor, Educator. His writings have appeared in newspapers and magazines on the East and West Coasts and the Southwest. He loves the art of the interview and has covered such persons as Dr. King's 1963 "Dream" speech and Sen. William

Proxmire as an advocate for the environment. A global traveller to some 30 countries aboard, he speaks Spanish semi-fluently and very rudimentary Russian, Tagalog, German, Arabic and Hebrew.

Lee's legacy here in Salem includes launching the Salem Peace Mosaic at the YMCA and doing a radio talk show for KMUZ/88.5 FM. It airs Mondays and highlights lives of proactive, productive senior citizens. He invites you to contact him at: notcoy@netzero.net.