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Dec-13-2011 22:55printcomments

US: Congressional Candidate Turns Himself In for Indefinite Military Detention

The right of people to defend themselves and their land, by any means necessary, against a foreign aggressor, is THE most fundamental human right.

Marines
Special thanks to Veterans Today

(SUNDANCE, Wyoming) - Dear Department of Homeland Security,

As someone who could be said to “substantially support al-Qaeda, the Taliban, or associated forces,” I am writing to turn myself in under the new NDAA law. Please send a US military brigade, preferably the Marines (semper fi, guys!) to indefinitely detain me. (I’d prefer the Marines because I’m a big fan of Gen. Smedley Butler – and I LOVE Kubrick’s Full Metal Jacket. I mean, let’s face it, compared to the other services, the Marines are seriously cool.

I suppose you want me to explain what “substantially support” means. Well, I’m wondering about that myself.

If “substantially support” means giving money and weapons, then unfortunately I’m ineligible to be indefinitely detained for life and put up on a military base at the expense of the US taxpayer. Of course, the only reason I haven’t given al-Qaeda and the Taliban any money is that they haven’t asked.

If Bin Laden, who died in December 2001, returned from the grave one more time, dragging his seaweed-covered dialysis machine behind him, and showed up on my doorstep with a begging bowl, I would definitely offer some spare change. And if Mullah Omar ever dropped by for a visit, I would offer him three cups of tea and plenty of sympathy. If he needed a few bucks, well, who am I to refuse charity? He could probably use a clean, shiny new glass eye by now.

If, on the other hand, “substantially support” means to “like” or “cheer for,” in the same way I substantially support, say, the Green Bay Packers – who are kicking almost as much ass in the NFL as the Taliban is in Afghanistan – well, then, let me admit that I am a fan of Bin Laden and the Taliban.

The comparison is slightly misleading, because I support the Packers wholeheartedly and unreservedly, whereas I do have some areas of disagreement with Bin Laden and the Taliban. I think Bin Laden’s decision to become a lifelong CIA asset was misguided, to say the least. And I think the Taliban have at times behaved inconsiderately to Shi’ites and other non-Pashtuns, women, and gigantic stone statues.

Nonetheless, I think Bin Laden will go down in history as a hero for having the guts to repeatedly insist that he had nothing to do with 9/11. Those statements, which he made throughout September and early October 2001, may have sealed his fate. (Then again, he was an end-stage kidney patient and wouldn’t have lived much longer anyway.)*

Additionally, Osama Bin Laden was by all accounts a good, pious man as well as a terrific public speaker. I unreservedly support at least 95% of what he said in the many excellent speeches and public statements he made throughout his tragically curtailed life. (I’m not just talking through my turban here – I was part of a translation team hired by an anthropologist at UW-Madison to translate a bunch of OBL’s speeches.)

And as far as supporting the Taliban – well, how could anyone NOT support them? These guys are bravely defending their country from a foreign invasion! Just like we would do here if the Chinese invaded us!

Remember, guys, AGGRESSION (invading somebody else’s country) is THE SUPREME WAR CRIME and THE SUPREME CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY. It is worse than genocide, worse than torture, worse than gassing people, worse than firebombing cities full of civilians, worse than nuking cities full of civilians. This is not my opinion – it is a fact, i.e. the established position of the profession of international law. Why? Because aggression paves the way to all the other crimes.

The right of people to defend themselves and their land, by any means necessary, against a foreign aggressor, is THE most fundamental human right.

And the Taliban are exercising it brilliantly.

Since I am neither a moron nor a psychopath, I have no choice but to support them.

So please, send those Marines to detain me ASAP.

As they march through my neighborhood (“the battlefield”) to my door, it would be wonderful if you could have them singing “Battle Hymn of the Republic” and “Halls of Montezuma.” I hope you can spare some bugle-players and drummers for the occasion.

And if possible, I would like to request a cell with a big-screen color TV, so I can watch the Packers and the Taliban keep right on kicking ass.

Sincerely,

Dr. Kevin Barrett
Western Wisconsin (you know where)

_____________________________________

Dr. Kevin Barrett is the author of three books including the new revised edition of Questioning the War on Terror: A Primer for Obama Voters, which deconstructs the "war on terror" through Socratic questioning. A Ph.D. Arabist-Islamologist, he has taught languages, literature, humanities, religious studies, and folklore at colleges and universities in the U.S. and abroad.

Blacklisted from teaching at the University of Wisconsin since 2006, Dr. Barrett has recently worked as a talk radio host, author, public speaker, and congressional candidate. One of the best-known critics of the War on Terror, Dr. Barrett has appeared on Fox, CNN, PBS, ABC-TV, and Unavision, and has been the subject of op-eds and feature stories in the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, Christian Science Monitor, and other publications. Dr. Barrett hosts two talk radio shows, one on a liberal and the other on a conservative network, and runs the website TruthJihad.com. He lives in rural Wisconsin with his wife, two children, and a dog named after Salman Rushdie. Learn more about Kevin Barrett by visiting truthjihad.com. Read more of Kevin's work by visiting: questioningthewaronterror.com




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Karin Rougeau December 14, 2011 2:40 pm (Pacific time)

Quote:
"If Bin Laden, who died in December 2001, returned from the grave one more time, dragging his seaweed-covered dialysis machine behind him, and showed up on my doorstep with a begging bowl, I would definitely offer some spare change.
EnQuote:

Absolutely, positively, on of the best lines I have read in ages !

Hear ! Hear ! To the author. They can come and get me too. I , being disbaled, find it 'safe' having more than 7 days of staples in my home, and altho I never owned a gun before I met my husband, we proudly own a 'few' now, I'm damn glad we have them.

At 65 yrs of age, I never, in my life thought I would see such betrayal by our own govt.
It appears the Zionist AIPAC have drawn the big card out of the deck and the US citizens will pay again for their 'needs' indefinately even if we go to 'fema camps' for the duration of our lives.

Where this gests 'sticky' is who is going to support these traitors when we true Americans are all in 'fema camps' labled as terrorists.

I thought today of Jeff Foxworthy and his "you might be a redneck if" routine.
We now have "you might be a terrorist if" and that is where it starts to get really scarey.


ironboltbruce December 14, 2011 12:39 am (Pacific time)

Call to Action! Hire an attorney or use NaSI SARs to charge your U.S. Representative and Senators who voted for the National Defense Authorization Act of 2012 (NDAA: S.1867/H.R.1540) with "Seditious Conspiracy" under U.S. Code Title 18 Part I Chapter 115 Section 2384. Details here: http://KleptocracyChronicles.com

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