Can Muslims Celebrate Mother's Day?

After God, my mother has been the source of my strength, my success, my life-force. Everything I am I owe to her. She taught me how to be a man; how to be a husband; how to be a father; how to be a son.

(SALEM, Ore.) - There was a time in my life when I thought Mother's Day to be a holiday of the "infidels," not worthy of celebration by a Muslim. Time and wisdom have taught me otherwise. Mother's Day is an American cultural practice that is wholly consistent with Islam's principles.

The Qur'an places kindness to the parents on par with proper worship of God: "Worship and serve God, do not associate any partners with Him, and do good to your parents..."(4:36). The textual juxtaposition of worshipping God and honoring the parents is not coincidental. Maltreatment of parents is one of the most deadly sins in all of Islam. Furthermore, God implores believers to extend the hand of mercy to their parents: "Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: 'My Lord! bestow on them thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood'" (17:23-24).

Most importantly, she gave me God, and she taught me how to worship and see Him in everything that I do. She ingrained in me the importance of developing a personal relationship with God and developing that relationship throughout my life. Had it not been for my mother, I most probably would not have either known or discovered the beauty of the worship and love of God.

This Mother's Day, however, and every Mother's Day thereafter, in fact, is even more special. I live with another mother who is as important to me: my wife. She is nothing short of a miracle for me. She came to me during the darkest days of my spiritual life, in the depths of my loneliness.

She was a precious gift from God, a diamond in the rough. Her amazing character, her fortitude, her maturity, her strength of will is nothing short of inspiring to me. I thank God from the depths of my heart for this most undeserved blessing.

I feed off of her strength. I was in awe of her strength after seeing her endure two difficult pregnancies. She showed her true magnanimity, however, soon after we returned from the Hajj.

When our daughter was diagnosed with a crippling genetic disorder, Ataxia-Telangiectasia, my wife was surely devastated. I knew she was crying, no screaming, inside, but tears rarely streamed down her beautiful countenance. She, like me, decided to move on, and she was determined to help our daughter the best way she can.

She continually pushed me to be firm with reluctant insurance companies who did not want to pay for this test or that. She refused to back down when she was told, "No." Even today, as we plan to put our daughter into the public school system, my wife is an unrelenting advocate for our daughter's best interests. She is nothing short of an inspiration.

She does all this after taking care of and educating thirty children of other parents, as my wife teaches the fourth grade full time. She does all this and still does everything she can to tend to the sometimes selfish needs of our family. She does all this while putting up with my occasional selfish stupidity.

The compassion she has for our children, even in the depths of fatigue, overflows from her heart. She is truly an amazing woman, and her strength outshines mine hundreds of times over. There is no way on earth I could do what she does day in and day out. She is nothing short of an inspiration.

A man once came to the Prophet Muhammad (peace be unto him) and asked him, "To which of my parents do I owe the most allegiance?" He replied, "Your mother." The man then asked, "Then who?" The Prophet replied, "Your mother." The man repeated, "Then who?" The Prophet said yet again, "Your mother." The man then asked, "Then who?" The Prophet then said, "Your father."

As I reflect on this Mother's Day, invariably the saying of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) also comes to mind: "Paradise is underneath the foot of the mother." How true that statement is. Growing up with my mom and living with my wife have made me truly understand why the Prophet stressed allegiance to one's mother. I proudly kiss my mother's hand in public, and if she would let me, I would kiss my wife's hand in public as well!

This Mother's Day, as we go out to dinner, or gather at someone's home, or call our mothers and say hello, let us reflect a little more on the greatness of our mothers. Let us start kissing our mothers' hands in public and be proud of doing so. If I were smarter, I would do all that I could to literally follow the footsteps of my mother and my wife, because it is there that I will find Paradise.

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Sarah Ann May 13, 2009 1:11 am (Pacific time)

Thanks for sharing this wonderful blog post. I help manage an online support community for people affected with Ataxia. If you have come across this site in search of support and kind words from others like you, stop by and say hello: http://www.livingwithataxia.org

Vic May 11, 2009 11:41 am (Pacific time)

By the way, Ken...do you quote Hitler out of respect or admiration? "Wars should be fought to be won as soon as possible."

Vic May 11, 2009 11:38 am (Pacific time)

Thats right, Ken..those damn Taliban..and Red Cross, and Amnesty International, and all the lying soldiers that have reported first hand about our atrocities...liars all of them ! Why cant they be honest like Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Powell, Rice,Gates, Clinton et al? We NEVER kill innocent people..NEVER !!! Are you for real??? Do you believe the crap you type? I agree, the best weapon of murdering terrorists is the lie, and the US has that down to a science. Remember the WMDs? Yellowcake uranium? Anthrax laden drones? 9-11, where for the first time in the history of the world, fire brought down three steel framed buildings, at free fall speed, including one that wasnt even hit by an airplane? Remember the Gulf of Tonkin incident? You crack me up. I would say you are ether incredibly ignorant or you are one of those liars you wrote about.

Ken May 11, 2009 9:51 am (Pacific time)

THE most effective weapon terrorists have found to wield against us isn't the headline-grabbing suicide bomber or even the deadly roadside bomb, the IED. Terror's super-weapon is the lie. Lying about civilian casualties is the one sure way to impede or even halt US operations, to force such tight restrictions on our troops that they can't win. The casualty con's so effective as both propaganda and tactic that terrorists everywhere have adopted the technique. It's been so successful that our enemies long ago transitioned to the next phase: creating civilian casualties and blaming us. It works. The media love the charge. Our troops and pilots are always guilty -- even if proven innocent. Few journalists bother to investigate. If the Taliban, al Qaeda, Hezbollah or Hamas says it, it must be so. In Media Wonderland, terrorists never lie. Now every successful strike on a Taliban target generates the instant claim that the dead were all civilians. A case study in instant foreign-policy ineptitude -- Recently, Taliban terrorists publicly beheaded three civilians in Afghanistan's Farah province, then herded women and children into compounds from which they fought government forces and US advisers. With a vicious ground battle under way, the Talibs knew attack aircraft would appear. According to military sources, they set up the target. And, just in case, they slaughtered those women and children with grenades before any aircraft appeared. The entire massacre was a planned media event. And who gets blamed? Not the Taliban. Before the smoke cleared, Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton was apologizing. (Apologizing is one thing this administration does with real enthusiasm.) Our SecState played right into the Taliban's hands. It was instinctive on her part. Clinton and her new Cabinet peers know that our military's evil. No need to say a single word about the Taliban's atrocity. These kinds of examples abound and their tactics were frequently used in past conflicts. Wars should be fought to be won as soon as possible.

Vic May 11, 2009 9:03 am (Pacific time)

Yeah right, mic..Keep drinking the Kool-aid and tell yourself "We are the GOOD guys" Do you know how many suicide bombers and car bombs there were in Iraq before we got there? NONE..NOT ONE.

Mic May 11, 2009 1:30 am (Pacific time)

hey vic, out of those killed, 99% were killed by muslims by blowing up themselves killing their fellow muslims

Vic May 11, 2009 12:29 am (Pacific time)

I wonder how many mothers have lost children, husbands and their own lives thanks to the brave US military? In Iraq, the number would be around 300,000 children murdered since the war to get the "WMDs".This is a conservative estimate based on the fact that 55% of Iraqis are 15 years old or younger. I no longer believe in god, because if there really were a god of love, he would destroy this violent nation of racist sociopaths, so that good people could live in peace, and mothers could raise their children without worrying that some cowardly punk three miles up will drop a one ton bomb on their village, or kick in their doors at night and drag their children off to be tortured. If there is a god, may he have mercy on the chancres we Americans call souls.

sifaw May 10, 2009 1:03 pm (Pacific time)

Since May is the month of mothers, it is an ideal time to look at mothers in Islam. The Muslim mom has a very special place, high up on a pedestal. Mothers are revered and adored, showered with affection, and shown great respect. In a well-loved hadith, the Prophet (PBUH) is reported to have said, "Paradise lies at the feet of mothers." This means that we gain admission to Jannah (Heaven) through our treatment of our mothers. We can also be denied admission through mistreatment of mothers. It is said that no person will ever be granted access to Paradise if his mother died while angry with him. Now, obviously, there are many other factors that determine whether or not a person will ever see Jannah. This hadith simply shows the importance of being kind to our mothers. Still another hadith reports that a man asked the Prophet (PBUH), "Who is most worthy of my love and respect?" The Prophet (PBUH)replied, "Your mother." The man asked, "And then who?" The Prophet (PBUH) again answered, "Your mother." The man asked one more time and received the same answer. When the man asked the question a fourth time, the Prophet (PBUH) answered, "Your father." This is not to say that we should not love our fathers, or that our fathers are not important in our lives. Our fathers provide for us and guide us. It is mothers, though, who are generally tasked with most of the child-rearing responsibilities. It is usually our mothers who are there to comfort us, hold us, tend to us when sick, feed us, and clean us. In early childhood, it is usually the mother who witnesses her child's firsts, who rejoices over their victories, and who commiserates over their defeats. Moms share their children's childhoods, living each step with them. Most hadiths go on to explain why a mother is so special... she sacrificed her youth and beauty for her children, she bore them in painful pregnancies, she withstood pain in labor, and she breastfed through hardship. It is often discussed that mothers give up their lives for their children. In return, the children owe their mothers a lifetime of love, care, respect, and affection. When you have been blessed with a loving, nurturing mom, you should celebrate her every day. Do not wait for a circle on your calendar. A true mother is a divine gift and should be treated as such year-round. ssifaw@yahoo.com

salman May 10, 2009 6:13 am (Pacific time)

Every day is monther's day, and father's day. You only need a "Mother's Day" if you are not honoring your parents every day.

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