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Jun-02-2010 22:07printcomments

Israel Calls Gaza Attack 'A Silly Misunderstanding'

Gaza Flotilla and USS Liberty Survivors apologize to Israel, which claims attack was authorized personally by Lord Balfour.

Walter Rothschild
Walter Rothschild, Founder of Israel, Riding his Tortoise

(CINCINNATI, Ohio) - This week “religious commandos” from Israel attacked the Gaza Freedom Flotilla in international waters. Seven Israelis were injured during the attack with one member of the “Israeli Secret Police” thrown overboard by an 81 year old woman. Jerusalem papers report that Israel is holding the woman for attempted sexual assault.

Is it illegal to rape a pirate on the high seas? We are waiting for a ruling from the International Criminal Court at the Hague on this.

One “commando” tripped over a wheel chair in the dark and fell down a flight of stairs. The injured commando, an Obergruppenfuhrer, a rabbinical rank with the IDF, said, “After shooting the man in the chair, I quickly ran over to get his watch. Imagine how I felt, nearly giving my life for a stinking Timex.”

The helicopters and boats used by the “floating and flying rabbis” were paid for by the US as part of a USAID program funding health clinics in Gaza. Israelis working with USAID on the project indicated that they the “Peace Flotilla” was mistaken for a “refugee resettlement cruise.”

“It is our job to care for the Palestinians. We were only there to do medical inspections, picking those that are healthy enough for labor and finding those who are unfit and need “special treatment.” Sixteen were selected for delousing. Relatives of those who received “special treatment” are waiting for a list of names and where to pick up the ashes.

The United States Senate, led by Josef Lieberman, John McCain and Charles “Chuckie” Schumer, voted unanimously to continue their unbroken support for Israeli efforts to provide a decent homeland for Palestinians, “no matter how many of these worthless Muslim bastards have to die in the process.”

Senator McCain was quick to point out, “My father, Admiral McCain helped organize a similar Israeli effort when the USS Liberty became stranded in international waters near the same area. Israel expended four torpedoes, firebombed the ship 3 times using napalm, hit the ship with over 18,000 rounds of cannon fire and even strafed the lifeboats but was unable to save the 34 killed and 174 injured during this rescue attempt.”

USS Liberty survivor Phillip Tourney, when questioned about the incident said, “At least they didn’t try to steal my watch.”

Another USS Liberty survivor praised the Israeli actions, “ Although nothing was wrong with our ship, after the Israelis set it on fire and torpedoed it, every effort was made to by them to motivate our US Navy fire crews. When the Israelis came up firing machineguns at our medical and fire rescue personnel from close range, we had an excellent battle simulation. In fact, the Israeli’s “simulated” several of our medical personnel, treating the dozens of wounded and dying, to death.”

Senator Schumer was quick to point out, “The USS Liberty incident demonstrated the highest bravery any American ally can show. The quick action of the Israeli crew, reloading weapons, putting the dodging and wounded crew in their sights and managing to deal with the guilt and stress for years afterward, the highest level of heroism and sacrifice a son of Zion can display.”

An Israeli press spokesman released the following statement about the Gaza Freedom Flotilla rescue effort:

In the name of the exalted Grand Rabbinical Conclave of Jerusalem and the Office of Judaic Racial Purity we offer our apology for any possible misunderstandings caused by our mission of mercy this week. With our current programs to relocate thousands of elderly Jewish “financial workers” in emergency need for seasonal vacation residences. Other settlers have come to us demanding a safe homeland free of criminal extradition and unencumbered by tax liens, court judgments, copyright laws and other common methods of oppression and victimization of “dual citizens.”

The Judaic Republic of Israel regrets the necessity of seeking “lebensraum” in areas that had been infected with Palestinians, some for a thousand years or longer. We wish that the international community comes to understand that the welfare of the Palestinian people, a people we offered to ship, dead or alive, to any country ready to take them, is foremost in our hearts.

Toward that end, we have been forced to offer new housing, schools and hospitals to serve the Palestinian community. Thus far, we have managed to eliminate 44,000 substandard homes, 86 inadequate schools and to eradicate more than a dozen hospitals along with other unacceptable structures.

During the next 5 to 10 years, with additional aid from the United States, we will begin studying the possibility of replacing the destroyed dwellings with temporary structures. In the interim, the Palestinian residents of Israel are being offered healthful open air accommodations in a supervised environment with plenty of helpful Judaic overseers to render guidance and motivation.

When asked to explain the odd interpretation of international law that allowed military operations on the high seas, we were told that the British government had, in a codicil of the Balfour Declaration of 1917, an agreement between Lord Balfour and Walter Rothschild, a well known British banking enthusiast and amateur zoologist.

Why the Balfour Declaration Empowers Israel to World Rule

Whether Walter Rothschild was acting in his capacity as a zoologist or amateur banker when negotiating with Lord Balfour over Jewish settlements in Palestine is unclear as is the source of clear authority either party had to engage in any such endeavor.

Walter Rothschild is best known for his carriage, drawn by six zebras, often seen in London’s streets and for his inability to speak in an understandable manner. Rothschild’s banking career ended in 1908, when he was fired from the family bank. From that point onward, his only activity was collecting photographs of animals and pasting them into a scrapbook. During the years from 1908 through his participation in the Balfour negotiation, Rothschild managed to buy 200,000 bird eggs and over 30,000 beetles.

When Walter Rothschild found the Balfour Declaration in his morning mail at 148 Piccadilly, he had no idea of its meaning or why it had been mailed to him. When questioned about the Balfour Declaration, Walter Rothschild said, ”Whrump wiffen pogel hoobob bobalpop.” Thus, a man who owned two tons of dried “toad droppings” the only subject he expressed any lasting interest in, came to make his contribution to history.

In 1932, Britain, as a reward for opening the letter containing the note from Lord Balfour named Walter Rothschild a Baron based on their belief that the Rothschild family was remotely related to Austrian royalty, which, of course, is not the case.

Gordon Duff is a Marine combat veteran and a regular contributor to Veterans Today. He specializes in political and social issues. You can see a large collection of Gordon's published articles at this link:

He is an outspoken advocate for veterans and his powerful words have brought about change. Gordon is a lifelong PTSD sufferer from his war experiences and he is empathetic to the plight of today's veterans also suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. We greatly appreciate the opportunity to feature Gordon's timely and critical reports on, a news organization staffed by a number of veterans, particularly former U.S. Marines.

You can send Gordon Duff an email at this address:

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gp June 3, 2010 6:37 am (Pacific time)

as my father used to say,"taint funny McGee".

Osotan; June 3, 2010 5:57 am (Pacific time)

"We have a right to defend ourselves" from their military ministry robot made me an anti-semetic. This one's in front of the world., and who runs Washington? Did you see the f*#king concern on obama's face? God Damn it. How can they do this to people and B.S. the world like we owe them credibility? They kill unarmed civilians., people who attacked no one or threatened no one with harm, and say they have a right to do so., and it looks to me like they have the govmt. of our once great country agreeing with them.Too bad hillary wasn't on board. I hate all of them. Parasites of the new world order with god on their side.Piss on them with reckless enthusiasm. Thank you very much.

Editor: I so thought of you when I read this, you and Gordon have a lot in common, but it even runs deeper than that.  Semper fi Brother! 

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