Salem Police Department Fraud Tip of The Month: Internet Dating

(SALEM) - Millions of people are using the Internet to socialize, date or find the “love of their life.” Some find love--others are abused, financially ruined or killed.

The Internet can be a dangerous place for both children and adults. Financial, sexual and abusive predators are constantly trolling the Internet for their next victim.

If you use the Internet for socialization or dating, it is likely one of these bad persons will contact you. Be prepared.

Internet dating is like driving a car in busy traffic at a high rate of speed.

To avoid crashing, you have to develop consistent defensive skills, follow some basic rules and watch out for the other guy.

If you approach a hazard, you must be alert enough to take immediate evasive action and maneuver away from danger.

The Internet can be a relatively safe place to date, if you learn of the hazards, do not become complacent about the dangers, use common sense and do not ignore “red flags.”

General Internet Dating Tips:

• There are many Internet Romance scams. Before you communicate with anyone on the Internet, review my 2006 monthly fraud tip on Common Internet and Nigerian Type Scams: salem-news.com/articles/february152006/policetip4.php. Make sure you are not communicating with one of these criminals. If you do, you may get arrested. The tip can also be found at the City of Salem Police Department website at www.cityofsalem.net/~police.
• They all lie! They can be whoever they want to be on the Internet. Are their photos current? They may be hiding some minor flaws--or be a serial killer. You will not learn whom they really are until you spend some face-to-face time with them.
• Listen To Them! Whether you’re on-line or speaking in person, listen to their words. Pin them down to details. If they refuse to be pinned, or remain evasive, don’t ignore this red flag. Everyone has flaws and baggage. If they are too good to be true, RUN!
• Does it Make Sense? Regardless of the topic, are there things that don’t make sense? Be cautious of quick explanations, and excuses. Trust your instincts. If the same question or suspicion arises, stop communicating with this person.
• Trust is developed with time. Never give a “stranger” on the Internet your personal information, or enough information to find you, until you are sure you are safe. This should be well after your first face-to-face visit.
• When you are ready, give them your cell phone number so you can talk in person. If you don’t have a cell phone, consider getting a throw-away type cell phone.
• The problem of “Internet Adultery” is huge. If you care if they are married, ask them. Try to verify the information.
• Consider your first face-to-face meeting as your first date. Start over with your suspicions.
• If you are using an Internet Dating Service, research the service. What type of screening are they using, if any? Use a reputable one. Don’t trust the information provided by the other party.
• If you have the skills, use the Internet to research the other person.

First Meeting Safety Tips:

• Prior to meeting, your date should not already have your personal information or know where you live or work.
• Always meet in a PUBLIC PLACE! Drive your own vehicle to the location of your first meeting. Do not go out to the other party’s car or leave the location in their car.
• Consider this meeting as your FIRST MEETING. Start over and be suspicious.

Ask questions and watch for the red flags already discussed. If there are any red flags, don’t see the person again. Your safety is not worth giving them a second chance.

• Never leave your purse unattended. It contains personal information and house keys.
• Never leave your drink unattended on the bar or at your table. Take it with you if you have to use the restroom or leave the table for any reason. “Rophynol” is not your only worry. Homemade knockout drops are in vogue, with recipes available on the Internet.
• Make sure you are not followed home, even if you enjoyed your first meeting.

Look behind you when you make turns.

• Even if you are cautious, you might meet with a bad person. If you are being followed, make sure your car doors are locked and continue to drive on roads with other vehicles. Do not go home! Call “911.” If you do not have a cell phone, drive to a crowded public place, park in front of the business, even if it is marked as a fire lane, and go into the business. Ask someone to call the police.

While driving, if you have to stop at a red light, and the other person gets out of their car, use caution but drive through the red light.

Special Warning

• Abusive or dangerous persons are manipulative and controlling. If someone quickly tells you they “love you”, watch out. If someone wants you to move to continue your Internet romance, you’re in danger! If you move, you are without your normal support groups, such as friends and family. Never move out of state. This could be a fatal error. It has been for others.
• Remember, “STRANGER DANGER”. This applies to children and adults.