To the people who think my story seems familiar, or think they may know me, you might just be right.
(SALEM, Ore.) - - This letter was submitted by a Salem-News.com reader who has been keeping up on the story of the two Ukrainian immigrant parents who lost custody of their six children recently over abuse allegations. (see our most recent article: (Case of Abused Ukrainian Children Unprecedented - Tim King Salem-News.com). We greatly appreciate being able to publish this for our readers, it is a first-hand account of how tough life can be while growing up in a Russian-American household.
I can tell you the firsthand experience with the abuse I had to suffer as a child. People often wonder why so many Russian children are violent or just plain wild or uncontrollable.
It is merely a cry for help. These kids are raised in an extremely controlled and sheltered environment, raised with obnoxious religious outlooks, and told to act like everything is perfect in public no matter how much shit they are put through. Oh, and did I mention that ANY disobedience means a beating?
When I heard the story about the family who got their kids taken away, I had some pretty severe memory flashbacks, and felt like I needed to share my opinion. Hell, I'm proud of these kids. I wish I could have accomplished what they managed to do back when I was a child. Sure, the 6-day old child being taken away from her mother is sad, but that there's always collateral damage as they say.
My family came to this country when i was eleven. As a child I participated in all the church activities (like I was raised), but as i started getting older I started wondering why my parents were completely different people when they were in church around their "братья и сёстры" (brothers and sisters in Russian) and when they were at home.
In church, they were the "perfect" people who sang and preached, but once we would get home, that would all change, as if taking off a mask. Hell, I'd get hit with a belt even if I talked or fidgeted around in church right after we got home.
Any single mistake or act of insubordination meant you were gonna get hit. I remember dreading the time when my dad would come home from work, because i knew what was gonna happen. I would come home late from school on purpose, hoping that maybe he would forget, but usually that only made things worse, because you'd get hit more for being late.
My fists sill clench up when I remember the extremely angry look in my dads eyes, when he would completely lose it, and simply wouldn't stop hitting you until your mom, or your grandfather stepped in and forced him to stop. All of that does quite a lot to a 12-year old's mentality and development.
What did you think about when you were 12? I wanted to kill my dad, I wanted to rip that belt out of his hands and beat him to a bloody f*&#ng pulp with it. I started exercising and working out with only that thought moving me forward. I endured the beatings with the ever growing desire for revenge.
I tried calling the police, ran away many times over, tried to get attention, so people would see what was happening to me, but nothing ever happened. Its no wonder I started playing computer games constantly, I had to get away from this miserable thing I had to call my reality. Its no wonder why so many of the kids turn to drugs and alcohol.
In case you are wondering if I ever got my wish? Well, sort of. After working out nonstop for several years, I finally put an end to the beatings when I turned 15. I came home late yet one more time, and my dad started hitting me, and I finally got the guts to grab that belt from him.
Did I beat him to a pulp? No.
Wrestling him down to the ground and making him understand that I wasn't gonna put up with that shit anymore ever again was enough for me. I just wanted it to be over, and thankfully it was. If anything, it taught me to be able to stand up for myself, which came in more than useful enough over the years.
As far as these kids, Im glad for them. They got out of the abuse, and hopefully, they will never have to deal with that again.
And to the kids that are suffering right now, call the police, and get out before its too late.
And to the parents, you are NOT straightening out your kids or making them better by hitting them. you are merely making them more violent and angry, and to NOT be surprised when they turn on you. Treat your children with love and care, not keep them in constant fear of a beatdown.
Sincerely, Been Through It All.
Survivor of Russian Immigrant Family Child Abuse Speaks OutSalem-News.com