What happens when the line of professionalism is crossed with the line of love? The answer is found when a prison official quits her job for the man she loves.
(SALEM) - Recently an acquaintance of mine broke some professional rules - the rules of conduct as a professional in the State of Oregon Corrections facility. She was someone I recently worked with on one of my shows, a person I found to be professional, a nice person, and a gentle person, as her name depicts – Fay Gentle.
Recent news stories revealed the consequences when the line of professionalism versus the line of love is crossed. The results are two lives turned upside down.
As a professional working in any of the helping fields, whether as a counselor, a therapist, a doctor or a teacher, there is the written rule of no personal fraternizing with clients or students. This line is not subtle or invisible. It is something professionally acknowledged by individuals who enter any of the helping fields. If the line is crossed and one has the common sense to realize it has been, then they must make the decision to disclose it, leave the profession, and get on with their lives in other directions. Apparently, this is what Gentle has done.
Gentle became the target of a controversy when last month she quit her $64,000 a year job as the training/transitions coordinator at the Oregon State Correctional Institution, stating the reasons for leaving was because of her feelings for Philip Demeyer, a convicted murderer. Demeyer has completed his incarceration and is on parole. Gentle knew the decisions being made would affect her professional career. She also knew she loved Philip. Actually, that is all we need to know.
What I find the most troublesome is the double message we are sending to individuals who have completed their time in the State’s penal system. During their incarceration, they are told they can turn their lives around and if they are truly interested in doing this, and they are given the tools and help to do so. If upon completion of their sentence they have paid their dues and have atoned to a higher power, is it not reasonable for them to expect to find a new life for themselves. Should not Demeyer be able to aspire to find a life with someone he loves?
Gentle and Demeyer are adults, not children. Maybe Gentle should have removed herself from her position sooner, once they realized they had deep feelings towards each other, but if any of you reading this have ever been in love and feel you have finally met the one person you want to spend the rest of your life with, then you know sometimes common sense just goes out the proverbial window and the heart starts leading the way.
We all face difficult choices during our life, and sometimes we have to weigh consequences knowing the decisions we make could very well be life altering. This is what has happened with Fay Gentle. She may have made some wrong decisions in delaying her actions and some of you may say she made the wrong decision in falling in love with a felon, but so what. It is her life and his. What happened before they met is irrelevant and what is going to happen to their future has to be left to fate – theirs.
In reading the State of Oregon Code of Ethics for the Corrections Department, has Gentle complied with the ethics? She fulfilled her duty by leaving her position and informing her supervisors of her relationship.
State of Oregon Department of Corrections:
Department Introduces Code of Ethics
As an employee, volunteer or contract service provider of the Oregon Department of Corrections, I will value and maintain the highest ideals of professional and compassionate public service by respecting the dignity, cultural diversity and human rights of all persons, and protecting the safety and welfare of the public.
I accept that my fundamental duty is to serve the public; to safeguard lives and property, to protect Department of Corrections incarcerated persons against deception, oppression or intimidation, violence or disorder.I will be constantly mindful of the welfare of others. To the best of my ability, I will remain calm in the face of danger and maintain self-restraint in the face of scorn or ridicule.I will be honest and truthful. I will be exemplary in obeying the law, following the regulations of the department, and reporting dishonest or unethical conduct.
I acknowledge that I have been selected for a position of public trust and I will constantly strive to be worthy of that trust and to be true to the mission and values of the Department of Corrections.
oregon.gov/DOC/PUBAFF/newsletters/cb_998.shtml
We need to ask ourselves: Has the public in anyway been damaged by this relationship? According to her supervisor, while in her position as training/transition coordinator, Fay Gentle did a good job. Let’s leave her alone and let her get on with her life...
The Consequences of Love and RulesSalem-News.com