Salem-News.com Articles written by Bruce Sallan

Random Musings

A ranging view of the ideas circulating in one writer's mind.

(AGOURA, Calif.) - Sometimes there are many ideas fighting for attention in my mind, covering all the subjects I tend to write a column about, but each isn’t worthy of its own full-length coverage.

Consequently, I collect them. So, in no particular order, here are my current random musings.

My Son Has the Swine Flu: A Daily Journal

If you have a child that is stuck home with the swine flu and ends up like my son, with negligible symptoms, your biggest problem will be his boredom

(AGOURA HILLS, Calif.) - We just went through the swine flu with our older son, Will. We didn’t panic or allow the hysteria of the msm (mainstream media) to scare us. His first reaction was simply, “Darn, I’m going to miss Halloween.”

With the swine flu, we’ve been deluged with scare reports from the media, ignoring the fact that each year tens of thousands of Americans die of the regular flu.

Can Families Avoid Playing Favorites?

Congratulations to Bruce Sallan for his 50th Salem-News.com article!

(AGOURA, Calif.) - Sitting in Starbuck’s the other day, waiting for my car to be serviced, I sat next to a mom who shared a “dirty little parenting secret.” Her kids, and she and her husband, have “favorites.”

She gets along better with their younger child while her husband gets along better with the older child. I believe that this is natural, ubiquitous, and something most parents are ashamed to admit.

Stuck Between My Wife and the Kids

Good relationships don't come easy, but personal growth is also a benefit.

(AGOURA, Calif.) - In every marriage, spouses face an inevitable choice between their children and their spouse. It is a classic dilemma that confronts every couple and one that is inescapable and difficult.

It is especially true in second marriages, like mine. I have to admit, it is an ongoing issue in our home and one I’m trying to figure out with the right amount of love and respect shown towards everyone.

E-mail, Etiquette, and Friends

Our children are growing up with technology and it will all be a part of their lives hereafter.

(AGOURA, Calif.) - E-mail is so ubiquitous that we forget that it isn’t talking on the phone or having a conversation in person. Subtlety, facial expressions, or tonality are all lost in an e-mail message.

I have found this has gotten me in trouble when I think I’m being funny, subtle, or sarcastic in an e-mail. And, the habit many of us have of forwarding a joke, photo, or an article creates even greater problems in many cases.

In Sickness and in Health

I realize, yet again, that the only wealth is our health.

(AGOURA, Calif.) - My wife had a medical emergency early one recent morning. The details are unimportant, but the care and response that we received were very important.

At five a.m., she called her doctor and got him on the phone. He said we should call 911, which we did. Within a few minutes both a paramedic vehicle and a fire truck arrived at our door.

Who Said Marriage Should Be Work?

While I agree to some degree that marriage is work, it’s the amount of “work” that is worth discussion.

(AGOURA, Calif.) - I recently learned some statistics that surprised me, but upon reflection they really made sense. What do you think the rate of divorce is between first, second, and third marriages? Think about it. I didn’t and came to the wrong conclusion.

It’s pretty much agreed by most experts that first marriages end in divorce about 40-50% of the time. What surprised me is that the divorce rate increases with second marriages to something like 60% and more, while third marriages end in divorce at least 70% of the time.

My Son Has a Girlfriend; Now What Do I Do?

While I’ve been experiencing some vicarious feelings from my youth, being a father to a son who has begun dating and now has a new girlfriend is completely new to me.

(AGOURA, Calif.) - My son has his first girlfriend and I am pleased that he is now old and mature enough to enter the dating stage. I’m excited for him. In a funny way, I’m re-living vicariously my long-forgotten feelings of first love and all the nervousness, anxiety, and “What am I going to do?” anxieties I felt at his age.

Nonetheless, I need to allow him to have his space, and keep my distance while still making sure that they’re acting appropriately. But I don’t fully know how much to ask, observe, or try and find out. Mostly, I think I need to let him discover for himself.

It`s a Tech World, After All

Today's technology is a blessing and a curse.

(AGOURA, Calif.) - I love technology. I hate technology. I get so frustrated with technology. All of the above. That’s my generation and definitely me. My friend Marty is a tech wizard, while my wife is still using computers primarily for e-mail. I’m somewhat in the middle with my knowledge and depth of tech use and dependence, though my boys laugh at my attempts to learn anything new.

But, it’s hard to resist all we hear about what every new tech gadget has to offer, especially for us men (a.k.a. boys and their toys).

Male and Female Roles in Our Politically Correct Society

A friend of mine suggested that my generation might actually have the opportunity to learn from our kids about these kinds of behaviors.

(AGOURA, Calif.) - I am more and more troubled by how male and female roles in our society have evolved. Clearly, I may just not fully understand and accept these changes, but I want to understand for the sake of my boys.

I’m trying to teach them to be men, how to treat women, and to prepare my sons for the current social environment and workplace that we live in. And, frankly, I need to learn and adjust for myself, as this column will show.